Merry go Round
by Kaelin P
Summary: There are many reasons why people like Merry-go-Rounds... and Tsuzuki's reasons are quite simple...


**Merry-go-Rounds by Gaki**  
  


_In the silence between two people, a whisper of a voice spoke out into the cool air. Words playing over one another like a game of leap frog as eyes that were warm and wistful turned to look over at its companion. "I like merry-go-rounds."_

_Two faded green jades blinked before the companion spoke out, his voice just as soft as his partner's. "… You do?"_

_"Yea." A ghost of a smile graced the lightly tanned face as the older of the two sheepishly lowered his head._

_"… Why?" _

_The youth across the table watched as a full smile bloomed across the still young, yet some how aged face of his friend. Wrinkles never before seen appeared at the corner of eyes that shone like burning fire in the darkest of nights. The wind around them picked up, caressing the dark hair of the older man as he raised his head to look into his younger companion's face, his eyes glowing brightly even as the sun shone high above in the sky. _

_"… Because… I will always know what I'm going to see around the corner." _

Tsuzuki had told him that days ago. He'd forgotten what they were talking about or if they were even talking about anything at all. They were sitting outside a barely busy bakery on a cool cloudy day with the breeze caressing their faces. They sat together in a seating place off to the corner and away from the few people who had taken up the seats outside. It had been a slow day with no cases to work on and Tsuzuki, being the glutton for sweets, had suggested they try out the new bakery near the Nishizaka Hill in Nagasaki. He had resisted but when Tsuzuki had his mind set on something, he was a relentless man. In a matter of five full minutes he had given in, sending a glare that would split an iceberg in half towards his partner. 

Tsuzuki had only grinned widely in return. 

He hadn't known when his glares had stopped working on the man. It was kind of strange yet at the same time almost comforting that Tsuzuki had gotten so used to his expressions that he was no longer frightened of them. _Really_ frightened. He remembered the first time he'd glared that hard at his partner. It was a few days after their first case and Tsuzuki had accidentally tripped him, causing him to fall flat onto his face in front of their many co-workers. 

He had been mortified, truly embarrassed when he pushed himself up, his nose throbbing in pain and his face burning hot. Tsuzuki had looked like a child with his hand caught in the candy box and had apologized over and over again. He had ignored Tsuzuki, giving him the cold shoulder and almost rushed over to his desk so that he could cover his face with a book he'd gotten from the Library. Tsuzuki, sporting his trade-mark puppy dog ears and tail, wobbled after him as he continued to say how sorry he was and that he didn't mean to.

He'd lowered his book just enough to glare at the idiotic shinigami over the top of it and the wide eyed look on Tsuzuki's face spoke volumes. 

It said he'd never seen anyone glare so coldly at him before.

_A hand reached out and plucked a raisin from the large muffin before bringing it up into an open mouth. The act was slow and some how graceful. Like a ballerina tiptoeing across the stage as she readied herself for a leap into the pond beyond the curtains. _

_"I like the music on merry-go-rounds." _

_The youth across from him brushed golden locks of hair behind his ear as he raised an eyebrow. He plucked another raisin, rolling it back and forth between his thumb and index finger as he waited for a reply. He didn't expect one, but he stayed quiet until the forever boyish voice decided when it would like to speak up. _

_And spoke it did. "… I think they sound annoying. And they play it too loud." _

_He offered a light smile, a curious and gentle smile he knew the youth was familiar with. "Really?" _

_"… What do you think, then?" Asked the illusion of a sixteen year old teen across the table. _

_He leaned his head back, eyes scanning the endless reach of blue in the heavens above as he rolled his answer over and over again in his head like the long forgotten raisin in his hand. He saw a bird fly by and saw the face of a giggling child in a soft puff of cloud. _

_He grinned. "I think… I think it sounds like laughter." _

The trip to Nagasaki was quick, yet it was the way towards the bakery that took forever. Leave it to Tsuzuki to want to go to a place without actually knowing where it is. It took them a full two hours to find the hill and another five minutes to locate the small bakery. It confused him how Tsuzuki could find such a small place in no time but when it came to their cases, it would take him almost forever to figure out a clue. Perhaps it was the promise of sweets that drove him on. He had toyed with the idea of awarding Tsuzuki cinnamon buns if he acted more serious during their cases but pushed the idea aside, knowing that it was a strange and even cruel way to treat the older man. 

When they reached the bakery, he was surrounded with the fresh smell of warm bread. The kind of smell that welcomed you in and took hold of your body. The kind that whispered softly to you of promises of nothing but comfort and that strange feeling of _home_. Funny how the smell of baking bread could put him at ease even when Tsuzuki was squealing like a child in a candy store. And perhaps he was a child in a candy store. It was hard at times to face the truth that his partner was ten years his senior in physical appearance and over eighty-two years as a shinigami. Sometimes he acted as if he was a child, completely ignorant to the world around him. 

It puzzled him at times, wondering why Tsuzuki acted the way he did. He couldn't understand why anyone would willingly act like an idiot around others. Couldn't compute in his head why a person would want to degrade themselves, making others think so little of them when they deserved so much more. 

Then he figured that maybe Tsuzuki wanted that. Figure that Tsuzuki probably wanted to look like an idiot in the people's eyes, so that they wouldn't expect much from him. Mused that he acted that way because he wanted people to feel relaxed around him, as if he wouldn't be able to do anything to harm them in anyway. 

People were strange like that. When they see another who is nothing more than a moron, they would act superior, as if they were much better than the grinning idiot before them. As if they knew more and would hold more knowledge than someone who did nothing but goof around and played with kids. And those people were also stupid for acting that way. It was those people who would so often be caught off guard when the one they considered an idiot would beat them at something. People who looked down on others would always be the one to look stupid when the moron showed them what they were truly made of. 

It just goes to show that just because a person acted like an idiot, didn't mean they are one. 

_The dark head resting on folded arms turned so that soft amethyst could gaze at the still uneaten muffin on his partner's plate. His eyes jumped from blueberry to blueberry as he watched the slender pale hand of the boy break off small pieces to offer them to the birds that had gathered around them. He took in the image, letting his eyes remember the scene before him like an old painting on the wall. What he saw wasn't a happy young teen or even a sad young teen. What he saw was a youth who forever looked jaded and tired of the world. And for a moment, his heart ached. Leaning further in his chair, he whispered quietly, continuing an almost one-sided conversation he'd started._

_"I like the animals on merry-go-rounds."_

_The boy's hand paused with a piece of muffin between his fingers. The birds below chirped as they waited for the treat to be delivered into their hungry mouths. "… The animals?" _

_He received a cheeky grin as his partner sat back up, his hands pressed down on the table as the taller man leaned back in his seat. The breeze around them picked up, causing strands of both dark brown and golden blonde to be caught up in a strange dance around copper and ivory skin. The sun had begun to slowly lower itself from the sky, losing a battle against the coming night and handing over its throne to the almost visible moon. _

_The sky was painted in dark blue, fading red and orange and a bit of purple. But the youth with jade colored eyes didn't notice that. He only noticed the wistful smile and the way the sun's fading light framed his partner, giving him an almost unearthly glow. _

_"Yea, the animals." _

_He dropped the crumb of bread, his hand reaching out to break off another piece as he muttered, "… Why?" _

_A large tanned hand ran through dark strands of hair as another rush of wind passed them. He glanced at his partner from the corner of his eyes, waiting for an answer yet not really rushing the older man. He liked this slow paced conversation. It was almost mundane, almost normal to be talking about merry-go-rounds and not something that had to do with a death of another human. So he waited patiently as he continued to feed the birds. _

_"There's so many of them and they're all different. Not one of them is the same. Only on a merry-go-round is where you'd find a tiger up next to a horse without attacking it. Only on a merry-go-round would you find a seahorse out of its natural home." The dark haired man smiled down at the table, as if he was seeing that merry-go-round within his mind. _

_"… I like the animals on the merry-go-round because… they're all different yet they can be together." _

That had been days ago when Tsuzuki told him he liked merry-go-rounds. Hisoka rubbed his face, wondering for the fifth time why he was in the store and standing around like a lost idiot. He couldn't fathom why he'd decided to go into a toy store in search of a toy carousel for his partner. Couldn't understand himself for actually walking around, going into every toy store he could find for the one perfect merry-go-round for Tsuzuki. He couldn't understand it, didn't understand himself. What made him, Kurosaki Hisoka, track down store to store in look of a toy for an overgrown child like Tsuzuki Asato?

Then he remembered the look on Tsuzuki's face as he spoke of the merry-go-round. He remembered the wistful way his eyes looked and the soft tone of his voice. He saw, for an instant, the child within Tsuzuki speaking to him. He saw the boy that Tsuzuki still kept inside of him and only let out every now and then. Oh, he knew the childish behavior was all an act but he also knew that Tsuzuki hid behind his smiles the real child. The little boy with the strange colored eyes that sometimes would show himself in rare times. 

He himself saw that child only once before. It was awhile back ago on a day much like this one. They were both walking down the street, it was in the afternoon and not many people were out. Only children occupied the streets during the afternoon. They were walking, not running or rushing quickly, but a steady stroll. It had been a long day for the both of them, the recently finished case had taken its toll on both of them and they wanted nothing more than to return home. The only sound they heard while walking was the sound of the laughing children. He remembered the sound clearly. They laughed like chiming little bells. Like a chorus of wind chimes lined up together and played against one another when a gentle breeze would pass them by. He remembered that sound well. He remembered it well because he'd heard it countless times before. But that wasn't what he remembered the most though. What he noticed that day, beyond the setting sun and the giggling children, was the look on Tsuzuki's face. 

He was smiling; truly, really _smiling_. As if he himself was playing with those children. As if he was chasing after them, counting from one to ten and finding his playmates. He saw what real happiness looked like on Tsuzuki's face that day. He saw the little boy inside that well guarded prison giggling. 

And he wanted to see it again. He wanted to make Tsuzuki smile like that again. And he figured the only way he could make Tsuzuki smile like that, was if he found the carousel Tsuzuki had pictured in his head. 

_The sun was currently hiding behind the hill as the cool night air brushed against their clothing and skin. Both muffins have been finished; one eaten by it's buyer while the other was feed to hungry birds. Neither of them spoke, the young one drinking his tea while his older companion was still contemplating. _

_"… I like the colors on merry-go-rounds." He finally spoke out. _

_The slight 'clink' of the tea cup hitting against the small dish rung out in the air around them as the youth raised an eyebrow. "… What colors would those be?" _

_His companion grinned, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm. "The blues and gold are nice. Sometimes there's red, but only on the reins of the horses. Sometimes there's black too, to outline the brighter colors. To make them seem more lively. But… there's always one color that I wanted to see most on merry-go-rounds…" _

_He quirked an eyebrow, leaning forward to rest his chin on the palm of his hand. "… What color is that?" _

_The older man gave him a sheepish look before looking into his eyes. Violet orbs shone just a bit as he received his answer. _

_"… Green." _

Then he saw it, the carousel that Tsuzuki had spoken of. A beautiful miniature carousel that was outlined by a golden paint. The animals that were on it were painted in an off white color, making them stand out against the dark green background. Dark green, the color that Tsuzuki had said he'd wanted to see on a carousel. He'd redden slightly when he had heard that, thinking that Tsuzuki was teasing him like he liked to do so often. But the look on Tsuzuki's face wasn't teasing at all. It sounded wistful. Like he actually wanted to see a carousel that was the same color as his eyes. 

He reached out, lifting the slightly heavy toy from its stand and inspecting it. It was beautiful, the colors played with each other, every layer of different paint complimenting the one before and after it. And the animals, there were almost one of every kind. There was the tiger that Tsuzuki had spoken of, right next to the same horse. And the same seahorse that left its place in the sea to play among the other creatures. 

It was beautiful, truly very enchanting. 

He hadn't understood why Tsuzuki liked merry-go-rounds so much. He'd found them loud and confusing and rather boring. But, looking down at the merry-go-round he had in his hands at the moment, he finally understood why. 

Merry-go-rounds were made for everyone.

Tsuzuki sighed, picking at his muffin as he waited for his younger partner to show up. Glancing at his watch once more, he became worried when Hisoka hadn't shown up in the last three hours of their appointed date. His normally cheerful expression was marred by a worried look. Lines appearing on his forehead and the corner of his mouth drooped down. It wasn't as if this was the first and only time that Hisoka came late. The both of them respectively always seem to take turns being the one to show up over an hour late. Whereas he had gotten somewhat used to waiting for Hisoka, his younger partner would still snap at him every time. Angry that he would waste time buying sweets when he should be worrying about the cases. 

_He just doesn't understand. No one can resist sweets._ If they were anyone but Tatsumi and Hisoka that is. He sighed, resisting the urge to stand up and go hunt down his late partner. 

Another sigh left his lips as he turned his head to the side, only to smile widely when he spotted Hisoka's blonde head heading towards him. He grinned and sat back up, waving at Hisoka to show him where he was seated. Relief rushed through him as Hisoka came ever closer. Then he frowned. There was something different on Hisoka's expression. The dip of his eyebrow didn't show that he was angry or annoyed, but… anxious and perhaps even nervous. The way his shoulders were squared and stiff didn't reveal that he was on the defensive and snappy. It was… different. It was as if… Hisoka was hiding something from him. 

Lowering his hand to the table, Tsuzuki relaxed the frown on his face as Hisoka finally reached the table, seating himself across from him. 

There was a calm silence for awhile as neither of them spoke. The wind blew by, a few leaves fell from their branches and a bird sang a song. 

Finally, Hisoka shifted in his seat, his eyes anywhere but on the man across from him. Tsuzuki continued to study his partner, keeping his expression light and unsuspecting as he analyzed the strangeness in the young man. 

In a sudden swift movement, Hisoka had placed a box in the center of the table, his eyes still averted. Tsuzuki blinked, totally surprised by the move as he stared at the brown box on the table. 

He blinked. 

Once. Twice. Three times before looking back at Hisoka. 

"… Hisoka?"

Hisoka still refused to look at him, his hands had moved back onto his lap, his shoulders hunched slightly and his face wearing a slightly annoyed expression. Tsuzuki's lip quirked up a bit. He knew what that look meant. It meant that Hisoka was unsure of what he just did and that he wanted nothing more than to bolt from where he sat or just start sprouting harsh words to distract people of his uneasiness. 

Ignoring his partner's silence, Tsuzuki reached out and pulled the box towards him. It wasn't wrapped up or even tied with a bow. It was just neatly closed and the lid lifted up easily as Tsuzuki looked inside. 

His eyes widened when he saw a carousel waiting for him in the box. He glanced back up at Hisoka, his expression questioning quietly. 

Still not looking at Tsuzuki, Hisoka offered a slight shrug as he mumbled. "I was passing by a toy store and I saw it in the window. I thought… I thought you'd like it." _It made me think of you._

Tsuzuki was speechless, his expression turning from shock, surprised and then to touched. 

**_"I was passing by a toy store…" _**

So that's why it took Hisoka three hours to get here. He went in search of a carousel. He smiled over at Hisoka, completely at lost for words._ Passing by a toy store? … How many toy stores did you actually pass by, Hisoka?_ Still smiling, he reached in and pulled out the merry-go-round, unable to resist turning that smile into a silly grin as he gazed at the toy. 

He didn't notice the animals, he didn't see the golden bands or the delicate details of the carving. He only saw the green. He saw the beautiful shade of dark green that enhanced the carousel. Saw the swirl of green and blue mixing in together to create the beautiful aqua color the horse was decorated with. 

He saw green, and that was the only thing he noticed. 

Turning the carousel over, he began to turn the lock. He looked back up at Hisoka, his smile still in place. _It took you three hours to find this. It took you three hours to find my merry-go-round. _

There was a slight pinkish hue playing on Hisoka's face as the boy looked back at him. His smile grew wider as he finally finished tuning up the merry-go-round. 

"Hisoka…" 

The pale face flushed brighter, green eyes looking away before staring at him sideways. "… Yea?" 

Tsuzuki's face glowed right before Hisoka's eyes and for a moment, he swore he saw the child smiling at him. He stared, almost in awe of his partner as Tsuzuki lowered the merry-go-round back onto the table, his hand still holding the lock. 

"… Thank you, Hisoka." Tsuzuki smiled as he let go. 

The merry-go-round begun to turn and Hisoka blinked, staring now at the carousel then back up at Tsuzuki as he listened to the music play softly into the wind. 

And what he heard wasn't an annoying sound. No. What he heard was… 

Laughter.


End file.
